A blow-up or major conflict is actually an amazing opportunity to practice skills and grow emotional capacity. This is how we as parents and kids both get to widen, as Dan Siegel would say, our “Window of Tolerance.” Times of high tension can lead us to greater self-mastery and the ability to navigate discomfort and anger. It is during these times we learn to communicate in more effective ways. These emotionally charged moments that seemed filled with despair can actually serve to deepen connection and grow the parent/child relationship. It’s time to embrace and be grateful for these sorts of practice opportunities that will continue to show up for us. How we show up in these moments makes all the difference.
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Vashti Summervill is a PCI Certified Parent Coach and a certified teacher in the state of Idaho. She is the secretary of the Idaho Suicide Prevention Coalition and the co-chair of the St. Luke’s Pediatric Family Advisory Council.